Not The Next CP

This is NOT Jordan Nixon, women’s basketball player at Texas A & M. This is Jordi, also known as Jordan Ashley, Nix, JNix, Nixy, Ladybug, Shake, Jordibelle; I respond to all and then some, so whichever you choose to adopt is alright with me. I have to make a distinction because the more well-known of us two isn’t supposed to say certain things. You’ll see why soon. So here I am serving as judge and jury. 

I, Jordi, am the creative— the one with the eye for beauty and love for design. I love love, and cry when I’m overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. I have an appetite for life and experience, and so, I am a thinker. I think about more than I have to until the steam spouts from my ears. I have all these theories about how Jordan came to be, and me too, why we both entertain things that don’t suit us, why manifestation is something we should all practice, why Summer Walker’s music goes so hard and more. As a subscriber to this blog, you will receive an all access pass to a barrage of these thoughts. I am the more positive of us two, and you will see that, but I guarantee mention of uncomfortable subjects. I am not going to apologize in advance because why should I? Jordan might be censored but I’m not; she cares more about what people think than me anyhow. If something doesn’t sit right with you, I encourage commentary. Let’s talk about it. I am not an expert in anything except maybe my melodrama. Plus, I like to learn. 

No, I am not crazy, and you are not witnessing the onset of a split personality disorder (no offense to any of you who do struggle with this), but this is the easiest way for me to go about talking my shit. By the way, I will be swearing throughout this article and that’s non-negotiable. 

“The next Charlie Parker would never be discouraged” -J.K. Simmons as Fletcher in the movie Whiplash who reminds me of a former coach of Jordan’s in more ways than a few. 

The screenwriter dove into the ocean for this line. As the main character, Andrew (Miles Teller), a student of Fletcher’s at an elite music conservatory, asks if there is a “too far”, a level where you risk pushing someone to a breaking point. This conversation alludes to a moment earlier in the film when Fletcher put Andrew on game about Charlie Parker, the now world class musician, ducking a cymbal from Jo Jones, renowned drummer, early in his music career. I bring this up to begin the dialogue about Jordan because she’s somewhere hiding (as per usual). 

Jordan’s not the next _______ (insert name of the greatest women’s basketball player you know). She’s not even crazy enough to believe she will be. I personally don’t think discouraged is the right word, so which [word] is? Which word snuggly fits her distress and her low moments in the face of sports obligations? I have been sitting with this thought for the last few years at this point, and now I’m bringing it to you. If you need more context, I’ll say more soon. You have my word. 

Vulnerability is something  I have committed to as shown through the publication of ‘THICK’ and ‘IN THE THICK’  (both available in this blog section if you have no idea what the hell I am talking about), but Jordan has yet to come around to this practice. Anyhow, she can stay in the shadows if she wants because it’s my time to shine. 

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